Back in October I wrote a short piece on my personal inspiration. I never posted it, but I talked about how I always get bursts of inspiration at the most inconvenient times. Last semester, it was during my management class. Now, apparently, it comes when I’m lying in bed super late at night. I can’t control when it comes, so I’ve learned to just roll with it. If I feel it coming, it’s almost impossible to pass up. So, here I am.
If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been toying around with the idea of “happiness” the past few months. Back in February, I made a resolution to “create my own happiness”… So far, so good. This semester has been monumentally better than last and I think it’s because I’ve taken control of my own happiness. I’ve learned to do things that make me feel good and to drop things that added unnecessary stress. (I encourage everyone to try this–it’s makes quite a difference)
All of the changes and decisions I’ve made to live a happier life have all been internal, for the most part. I’ve learned how to be happy with myself, by myself, and for myself. I’m extremely independent, so this only comes naturally.
I’ve been pretty set on living an independent life full of adventure. I never truly want to settle somewhere permanently, but rather take myself wherever life calls. When it came to college, a lot of people I knew chose a school closest to home. Some people did this because they didn’t want to venture off–they felt happy where they were–but some stayed because they were too scared living far from home. For me, going to college in Colorado wasn’t even an option. I knew I needed to get out and see what else the world had to offer. I was scared, yes, but I was even more scared that I’d be stuck in that little town forever. If I want to go somewhere, I go. If I want to try something different, I do it. There’s never been another way for me.
The idea of settling terrifies me. If I know that there’s something else better out there for me, and I’m not doing anything to change my situation, that’s when I lose my sense of happiness. I lose it when I lose myself in things that are beneath me (or to put that in a less pretentious way, I’m unhappy when I know I could be doing something better for myself than what I’m currently doing).
When I made that resolution two months ago, even then I wasn’t sure where to start. But the picture is becoming a little bit more clear. The life I set out to have will never feel finished or complete, but I don’t want to feel that way. I constantly want to improve and strive. Settling won’t even be in my vocabulary.